3 posts tagged “tv”

Did you know that only one letter separates the name of NBC's show and the name of a highly communicable social disease?  it does!  I nearly named this entry "On Herpes."  But thankfully, I know a great deal more about the former than about the latter.

If the creator of Heroes were at all versed in comic book lore (which he isn't), he would doubtlessly know a thing or two about superpowers.  By the way, a small digression here; Tim Kring, the creator, based this series almost entirely on seeing the Incredibles (which could just as easily be called The Fantastic Four With Better Writing), and not because he, you know, liked comics.  He's just a regular old douchey Hollywood TV dude, not a fan, not an afficianado, and most decidedly not the best choice to be writing this show.  Even so, the stories and the characters are pretty solid - he might not know superheroes, but he's nailing the ensemble drama. 

Depending on the universe in which your heroes exist, different rules apply differently.  For all the scientific scrutiny applied to the application of his abilities, Superman might as well be magical.  As it is, his powers don't really make sense.  But that's ok.  I don't care.  Superman can fly really fast and his body is incredibly dense. 

Those are only contradictory if the stories about him are specifically about the scientific possibilities of his powers.  Superman's stories aren't.  Superman isn't science fiction, he's fantasy.  Just as you don't criticize the Jedi for for their impossible lightsabers, you don't need to question how the Flash can run really fast without his clothes being incinerated by the friction against air molecules. 

Marvel and DC are like this, though Marvel tries a little harder to give a few of their heroes a scientific basis.  A lot of the time they just give up - it's hard to apply science to a guy who smashes a stick into the ground and yells a phrase in order to become a character from Norse mythology. 

I'm not very well versed myself in the comic history of the Flash; I bring that up only to note that the very short-lived but interesting Flash tv series that I used to watch on an ancient black and white TV while I did my homework actually did explain why his clothes don't get incinerated by friction.  Er, that didn't come out right - see, his clothes did get ripped apart, so a helpful scientist created a special suit for him.  That show also had the Flash carrying around a suitcase full of chocolate bars, and depicted him passing through solid matter when he really got his molecules moving.

That's an example of a universe that does try to explain how its heroes have their powers.  Most don't bother, and that's ok. 

I think Heroes would benefit from more scrutiny.  If you're going to do gritty and realistic (which they are), I think a serious analysis of the characters' abilities is a good thing. 

There's another series of stories about regular people who get amazing superpowers.  A book series called Wild Cards, edited by George R.R. Martin, trod this ground ages ago. 

The premise is this: in the late 1940s, a bomb explodes over Manhattan.  It distributes a virus (called the wildcard virus) that kills 90% of the people it infects.  9% of the survivors become deformed Jokers, while a lucky 1% develops superpowers.  Every infection is unique - no two Aces have the same power, and no two dead people die the same way. 

If I remember correctly, many (or most) of these powers are explained thusly: the wildcard virus did not kill these people, and it did not give that 1% of people its powers.  Instead, the virus unlocks the latent psionic powers in every human being , for good or ill - either out of self-loathing or an inability to deal with what's happened to them, they killed themselves.  The Aces get the powers that they always secretly wanted, consciously or not. 

On a narrative level, every power that somebody has can be explained by the application of incredibly powerful psychic abilities.  It's simple, but it works.

If you like Heroes and you like reading, I very much recommend reading the Wild Cards series.  Start with his one. 

"I felt like I was a starship that didn't have any shields."

Here's the premise:

Gather 8 Men.  They must:
1) be very smart.
2) have a very deep interest in an obscure topic.
3) be very, very awkward.

Then, gather 8 women.  They must:
1) be very hot.
2) be very sociable.
3) be kind of dumb.

Finally, pair them up and force them to approach their weaknesses, and hope that some will overcome them, and that some will spectacularly fall prostrate before them.

What stings is that I see myself in those goddamn social misfits, which is sort of the point.  In a show like this, you're either going to identify with the smart ones or the pretty ones, I guess, and since I've never won a beauty pageant, but I have debated the primacy of the Enterprise over a Star Destroyer, it was kind of a forgone conclusion. 

I have my favorites already. 

I'm tempted to associate with Mario, because he's what I imagine I look like in my worst fatmares. 

I just looked him up to link his profile to this blog entry and realized that not only does he not really look like me at all, but that I might know and/or have met him at some fucking point, because he is exactly my age and he lived in my area and got his degree in my hometown.  Fucking weird, man. 

Anyway, he's not my favorite.  That would be Sanjay, whose long-suffering problems with women will likely not follow him into middle age, as he is a) rather good-looking and b) in fucking medical school. 

The men in the show are usually just kind of sad sacks, but the women are prone to vile tramplings. 

At one point, model Cecille slaps some make-up and hair thingies on one of the geeks and takes him downstairs to show how she can get a nerdy, awkward boy to do anything she wants.  He comes down, beaming, and can't believe how lucky he is to be used by a hot, blonde model.  He's so without any friendly contact from females that he soaks it up like a nerdy, self-deprecating sponge. 

My least favorite female takes Cecille to task for what she did (rightly observing that "it can't be good for his self-esteem"), but you don't get the idea that the poor victim really understood what was happening to him.  He got to hang out with a girly girl.  Dollars to dog-nuts that poor Matt fell in love with Cecille at the first stroke of eyeshadow. 

So, why is Andrea my least favorite?  Simple.  After her partner, the long-suffering Matt, bombs the first challenge, wherein he must, among other things, get a girl's phone number.  She repeats the same old alpha female claptrap about "being in the game to win," and how she doesn't like losing, rather than making the obvious conclusion that, perhaps, Matt has a slight self image problem and that maybe a cute girl who skates through life by her looks might be able to, you know, help him. 

But I'm not bitter. 

My favorite beauty, however, is Erin.  She's cute, of course, but also supportive and nurturing in that wide-eyed, ohmygodIcansototallyhelpyou sort of way, and she might not be as dumb as she seems.  Also, they show a short clip of her wearing a Starfleet uniform in some later episode, so that's pretty awesome.

I don't know if I'll see another episode of this show - I can never remember to watch TV, since I'm usually pounding out something on the keyboard.  Sometimes, I'm watching old episodes of great TV shows that aren't on anymore, or researching some time travel theories.  Also, I might even be trimming my beard or applying product to my hair, or even ironing some shirts. 

I'm sort of a geek/beauty hybrid, I guess. 

Yeah.  Not really.

I think it's going to suck.

I'm skeptical of superheroes depicted in non-comic media - very few movies and tv shows get it right. It's not about super powers and special effects - it must always be about the people, just like any good story.

Already in the first five minutes of this show, I've witnessed hamfisted exposition ("But you always wanted your father's approval!") and a big factual gaffe, repeating a long-disproved myth, that can be resolved in a single, simple google search.

Sure, that doesn't mean it's necessarily going to be bad - one should never judge a show by its pilot, let alone by the first few minutes of it.

But I hardly ever watch TV anymore, since I can't help but think I have something better to do. Sure, that probably means playing another fucking video game, but still - I have a hard enough time crafting decent stories of my own to waste my time absorbing somebody else's shitty ones.

ADDENDUM:

Of all the color schemes to pick for your black-haired flying character to wear, don't pick these two.

There's another show that's kind of covering that territory.